The Steel Steeds

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Monday, July 19, 2010

List of signals and verbal codes

Communicating with the local natives and your riding partner are paramount for safety and harmony. Here is a running list we're compiling in case you should need additional explanation.

1.  Standard traffic hand signals including international jestures of contempt.
2.  Pointing to the ground with or without exaggerated motions notifies tailing riders of road hazards.
3.   International stop - putting both arms above your head while standing in the middle of the road.
4.  Butt break - short rest.
5.  Shade - rest stop under anything that casts a shadow on a 100 F day.
6.  The ladies are shaking - rough road.
7.  Hammer - ride fast
8.  Gotta pee - any bush will do.
9.  Drafting - riding near the rear wheel of the lead rider, preferably someone with the nickname "Wideload".
10.  Giddyup - lets head out.
11.  I thought this wasn't a race. - Slow down
12.  It's coming up. - We're lost.
13.  Jerk - not quite an asshole.
14.  Michigan drivers - not many jerks
15.  Chain ring tattoo - leg brushes up against the front sprocket leaving the greasy outline of the chain ring.
16.  ish - a suffix. We're riding 60ish today.
17.  Octogenaria - Mickey D's and the like where Octogenarians hang out
18.  Grab this cowboy - she wants sex
19.  Butt butter - lots of lotion applied each day to preclude chaffing.
20.  The morning miles go faster.
21.  It's just like dancing. It's how we ride.
22.  Potatoes in a bag.  Leftovers from breakfast when carried in a plastic bag affords nourishment down the road. It helps to know the window of opportunity given the microbiological considerations. I never get sick.
23.  Always heading west.  The only time we move north or south is to find a bush.
24.  She is getting "itchie". bbbbbbbbb
25.   Activator - coffee
26.  Timing the turd. Getting caught on the road with that urge and you've got 5 miles to ride.
27. Double Dump - usually done before giddy-upping or you be timing the turd.
28. Educated stupid- a progressive or anyone else that believes people like Castro, Chavez and our current lot will lead us to greener pastures as they drive their armored Lincoln Continentals while encouraging us to walk to save the planet.  You can give these people a straight edge and a pencil and they still can't connect the dots.
29.  Level ground. Only found on rail beds in Wisconsin which is why campground attendants have no idea what level ground looks like.
30. Hill - the definition of a hill is it has to be at least a 1/2 mile long or shorter is the grade is over 7%.
31. Slapping the right buttock - giddyup faster
32. Handicap bike - one with a motor


  1. William it sounds like if you want to hammer, butt break and/or butter, giddy-up while observing the ladies shake you better act more like John Wayne and Michigan drivers than Steve Martin!

  2. The Chilton family has never been known to miss the chance to express sarcasm!!! You are the master, Obi won!! (and I think you guys graduated in the same class!!!)